The Miracle of Self Care - Three Practices


Where I grew up there wasn’t a language for self care and definitely not for self-love.

In fact, it was really important you didn’t love yourself, if you did you better not show it or someone’d push you over in those ridiculous boots you’d gotten too big for.

Being accused of loving yourself was a legitimate insult, it was hurled anytime you showed too much confidence, were too happy or too free in your self expression. The threat of being tarnished as a self lover loomed like an aggressive dinner lady, ever ready to catch you doing something you shouldn’t be and hauling you off never to be seen again.

It meant many of us grew into young adults who didn't know what it meant to even like ourselves, let alone love ourselves – the concept was as foreign as moon rock. It created generations of us with low self worth, low self esteem, and no idea what it is to honour ourselves. But things are changing, as Ru Paul so honestly asks – ‘“ honey, if you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

It’s been a slow recovery of awareness and compassion to nurture myself back to a loving place, but it’s a constant practice. I’m not naturally a glass half full kind of person, I wasn’t raised in a house with those kind of vibes. I have to work really hard to stay grounded and positive, to honour myself with kindness and techniques that boost my self esteem, create balance and build strength in my body, mind, heart and soul.

One great thing that’s come out of lock-down is a deeper understanding that our mental and emotional health is vital and not something to leave to chance or take for granted.

A willingness to admit our vulnerabilities is growing. It’s acceptable and desirable to connect over our shared fears, we’re all going through them, it’s Ok to not be Ok. Anxiety and stress are becoming part of our vocabulary in a positive way, and we understand ourselves and each other so much better. We’re becoming ever more open to discussing our mental and emotional health, and more and more aware of how important they are.

So self care is huge for our health and well-being, it's also much more than just a good run, hot bath and glass of wine (though that’s a great start), it goes deeper than that. Emotional and mental self care are ongoing daily practises of regulation, compassion, and awareness.

Here’s three powerful self care practices you can adopt that will have significant impact on your well-being:

Daily check-ins - Before you check the news, check your internal news. Take three deep breaths and ask, how am I this morning? Physically, mentally, emotionally, energetically. How do I feel? What do I need? How can I give myself that today? Some days we could run for miles, some days the stairs are too much. Daily morning check ins help us see what is possible and necessary for us each day.

Self forgiveness -  This is really hard yeah, I get that. But everyone is doing their absolute best from the level of awareness they’re at, including you. Give yourself a break and forgive your mistakes. Like everything, it’s a practice. Meditation helps you to create space in your mind to see when you’ve slipped into a habit of beating yourself up for your mistakes, even 5 minutes a day can have massive benefits. Try sitting and observing your breath, just notice as it enters and leaves your body. Add a breath count - one as you inhale, one as you exhale, all the way up to nine, then repeat. Voila.

Release judgement -   Single handedly one of the most freeing practises in the tool box. Judgement is tricky because it’s almost a natural human response, we see something and the mind creates a little box and places the thing in the box. But we’re only creating a box for ourselves. Staying open minded, noticing when were judging someone or something as negative and questioning honestly, is that the truth? Can I be open and curious to this rather than deciding already that I know what it’s all about and shutting it down? Releasing judgement will give you more life.
And you know what? You really deserve that.

I hold weekly virtual yoga classes you’re welcome to join,  and am hosting a Virtual Retreat for Radical Self Care on Sunday 10th May at 2 – 4pm GMT.

Here’s the link to book:

https://www.magnapass.co.uk/partner/holistic-love-yoga

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Keep Calm and...Be Still

Hi friend, how you feelin? Did you dress yet? Have a glass of wine before midday? How dirty is your hair? Wherever this finds you, you’re doing great. Trust me. I will never lie - this week hit me like a ton of bricks on top of a steam train on top of a sperm whale. Dramatic? Not really. I hadn’t understood the process of settling into something like this, does anyone? Where’s the guide book for it…? Oh we’ve got to write it…hmmm. There was much talk ‘in the beginning’ of business as usual, we cracked open our laptops on the kitchen table and fired off emails, became a flurry of creative activity which exploded on to all of our newsfeeds, driving even more creativity and productivity, a collective sense of ‘keeping calm and keeping up.' Me too, I flew around with the crazed energy of one about to be locked away thinking I shall use this time to sharpen my skills, get myself out there (virtually of course…), read, write, sing, dance, learn to cook, play the uke, speak Fr...
Read more

Yoga is You

Yoga is empowerment; self healing, the art of self love and self-soothing. It is deep diving into your rich inner stillness and getting masterfully curious about your mind, body, heart and soul. Yoga shows you all the ways you run from, belittle, beat and berate yourself into silence, pain and smallness. It is becoming the Author and Artist of You.  Of coming to re-know yourself, travelling back to a time before they pronounced who it is that you are and reclaiming yourself as Yours. It is wiping away the grime. Yoga is re-wilding, into the savage beauty of your body and soul. It is re-alignment, of the bones and heart.  Yoga is cultivation; of kindness, of compassion, of patience, of strength, of peace and of hope. Of Hope, the realisation that you always have a choice, multiple choices, and it is developing the strength and will to make them.  It is building a bridge between the Body-Mind. It is coming to know the Mind as brilliant servant, not as tyrannic...
Read more