Keep Calm and...Be Still

Hi friend, how you feelin? Did you dress yet? Have a glass of wine before midday? How dirty is your hair? Wherever this finds you, you’re doing great. Trust me.

I will never lie - this week hit me like a ton of bricks on top of a steam train on top of a sperm whale. Dramatic? Not really. I hadn’t understood the process of settling into something like this, does anyone? Where’s the guide book for it…? Oh we’ve got to write it…hmmm.

There was much talk ‘in the beginning’ of business as usual, we cracked open our laptops on the kitchen table and fired off emails, became a flurry of creative activity which exploded on to all of our newsfeeds, driving even more creativity and productivity, a collective sense of ‘keeping calm and keeping up.' Me too, I flew around with the crazed energy of one about to be locked away thinking I shall use this time to sharpen my skills, get myself out there (virtually of course…), read, write, sing, dance, learn to cook, play the uke, speak French…clean the flat! The possibilities were endless…until…(sperm whale) - incomprehensible feelings that I struggle to articulate landed on my chest circa day four? (I have no idea to be fair, how long has this been happening now??) Normal feelings (I hope…) but deeply uncomfortable  that happen when your whole world appears entirely safe and normal yet there, in the shadows, lurks something sinister and frightening.

This week I realised it was going to take more than my safety nets of yoga, meditation, writing, running and eating well to navigate unchartered waters of (including, but not limited to): massive change, loss of employment, fear, anxiety, isolation, separation from loved ones, and the relentlessly grim newsreel of illness and rising death toll the world over.

Keeping calm and carrying on absolutely has its place. Staying busy and creating routines also important, anything that signals a semblance of normality is good right now. But acknowledging the enormity of this - for each and everyone one of us - regardless of circumstance, is vital for our health too. Not stuffing down the intense and (often) powerful emotions and feelings that are surfacing to be felt, held, and released right now, will go a long way to easing us through this. And, like everything, it's a practise.

For so long we’ve moved through the world like worker bees, wings fluttering, hearts buzzing to keep the wheels of the machine grinding along. Pro-activity, production, creativity, make make make. Do do do. So gripped have we been by this mindset for so long, potentially decades, that this sudden shift, this terrific halting of the wheels of Life and society can feel confusing, overwhelming, terrifying. Is it just me?

Where is there to go? What is there to do? What can I use to distract myself from the discomfort?

Nowhere. Nothing.

Sitting with it, feeling it, being present with your tender fearful heart and soothing what wants to be soothed, feeling what needs to be felt, crying, screaming, releasing the fear – not just your fear but that of everyone you love and care for, locally, globally  - takes great courage, patience, takes deep breaths and a shit ton of love. I’m sending it to you, and the knowledge you are not alone in this, even if it feels like it. 

In case you need it - here’s three practical ways to care for yourself during lockdown:

Journaling: Yup, massive. Morning, evening, whenever you feel like it. Jot down your feelings, how your body feels, your mind, your heart. Get it out onto paper, it helps to shift the energy. Also, gratitude – five things, what are you grateful for today? It’s been proven by science and everything that keeping a gratitude journal lifts your mood and boosts your immune system. Take that Covid.

Take the exercise: Outside if you can. A mindful walk, gentle jog. Look at the stability and strength of the trees, breathe in the fresh air, be more tree. If outside isn’t for you there’s tons of exercise classes on Youtube, type and go. Or dance. Just move your body and dispel any nervous energy and tension.

Talk: I learnt this lesson this week. I couldn’t really put into words how I was feeling so didn’t try. Turned out loads of people feel like that right now and that’s comforting. Call a friend, a family member, and if you truly feel you have no one to talk to, there are helplines you can call, I’ve included some at the bottom. Trust me, whoever you speak to will be happy to hear from you.

SAMARITANS: 0330 094 5717

MIND: 0300 123 3393